Your Intention

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As a life coach and retreat leader, Yota works with women seeking clarity, inspiration, and purpose in the midst of life changes. Her approach is intuitive and deeply influenced by her cultural roots, work and life experience, and her long-term practice of mindfulness meditation.

3 Comments

  • theartofnewbeginnings

    Hi Kathy, thank you for your thoughtful answer. It gives me pause. I was wondering…how does it make you feel when you micro-manage your environment? What need does it satisfy? I find it interesting that while trying to control your environment, you’re finding ways to excuse your lack of control over food choices and free time. What does it mean to you, taking good care of yourself? What does your inner critic say about that? This is something we’ll be addressing in upcoming units but, it came up so I wanted to mention it.

  • Yota Schneider

    I am truly sorry to hear about the foot surgery. This is stressful.
    You and I are so alike. I need an orderly environment to function, I can do emotional eating, and I don’t like doctors 🙂
    My mind gets muddled when my space is cluttered and untidy. My family on the other hand … 🙂
    When we live with people we love and care about who are the exact opposite, it can be a battle that nobody wins. There are things we can do and I know how I handle it usually.
    What is it you can do? Is there an area in the house you can designate as no mess zone, an area that is your personal safe haven? Can the two of you talk and agree on a middle way? Remember, there will be times when you can handle it better than others. You’ll probably be more stressed when you’re trying to finish a project and need a tidy environment or you are having people over.
    Can you ask for help so you don’t have to deal with it alone? Think about problem solving and enlisting help rather than changing Babs. What is it she can do to support you? She doesn’t have to change completely and give up what’s important to her but she can make slight changes to support you.
    As for food, emotional eating can be a challenge. If you really want to change that, you’ll have to be tough. Give away or throw out the stuff you know is bad for you. Keep healthy snacks in the house and when you feel like eating ask yourself: Am I really hungry or stressed? Grab an apple and go for a walk or find an activity that can substitute eating.
    We’ll be talking about all this further on but remember this. The conversations we have in our heads and how we talk to ourselves matter.

  • Yota Schneider

    Sounds to me like a good start. Don’t forget, you’re still in a period of adjustment to this new way of life; new house, new state, retirement away from the familiar, and the epidemic.
    It seems that your need for things to be done just so and Babs’ need to have things done for her, feed off of each other.
    The time will come when you’ll have to really look at this and decide whether you want to change it or not.

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