I love that you followed the question by also asking, What IS necessary? Answering this one makes room for the richness of our lives that often gets drowned by the non-essential.

Thank you for sharing your struggle with doubt and fear. It’s something we all struggle with, some of us more often than others. It’s interesting how another favorite question of mine … What if? … took you down an unproductive path.

Yet, even this question, we can turn it on its head and have it become the gateway to great stuff that we didn’t think was possible.

What if I changed my attitude … the way I look at things … the way I expect the worse … the way I tend to worry? What if, this time, I expected the best outcome? What then?

Thank you for playing with me. This is so much fun!

As I read your post, I recognized how I had struggled recently with doubts and fear. Another less helpful question kept popping up. It was, “What if…?” It was bringing me down an unproductive, anxiety-producing road. I was doing my best to refocus and change that internal conversation. And coming to your question, “Is it necessary?” felt/feels so much better.

It’s a question that opens us up in a gentle way to a choice…a choice that can be positive. There are so many things in life that are not necessary like unhelpful thoughts, physical stuff that blocks our spaces, calendar clutter, or relationships that drain rather than energize us. What’s beautiful about your question is it begs me to answer the opposite one too- What IS necessary? When we can let go of the unessential, unproductive, and damaging stuff, we make way for some wonderful possibilities and a life filled with the things we intentionally choose.

Thank you, Kathleen!
Your observation about how we learn that it’s not okay to ask that question, got me thinking too. You are right, we are conditioned to be on call no matter how unreasonable the standards, expectations, and pressure may be. But, guess what? It may not be easy or effortless but we can change that … One choice at a time!