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Finding Balance And Joy This Holiday Season!
As I try to gather my thoughts and put something useful on paper, I can feel the weight of all that has happened this year. We have three weeks to the end of 2023, and much changed in the world and our personal lives. December is the last month of the year and the first month of winter. It is also the month of many cultural and religious celebrations and rituals. Most people would agree that December can be hectic. Articles on how to survive family get-togethers, gift shopping, traveling, and social events, are hard to miss. The thing is, I love this season and its rituals, and the older I become, the more I resist the idea of having to survive the craziness of the holidays. I don’t want to merely survive, I want to fully enjoy this season and what it has to offer. Of course, I am not immune to the stress and overwhelm we are all subjected to this time of the year. Neither am I naive enough to believe that we can avoid drama altogether. There are certain realities we cannot avoid. I do believe though…
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Finding Goodness, Gratitude, and Grace
Happy Thanksgiving week! November is moving fast, faster than I remember it in previous years. I feel caught between wanting time to slow down, and wishing for a different kind of days, where chaos, uncertainty, fear, and anxiety are not lurking behind every news headline. Still, Thanksgiving is upon us, gently reminding us that even in the darkest of days, there is light and hope and much to be grateful for. Maybe it takes this stark contrast between chaos and celebration to make us pause and look closely at everything we can be grateful for, and not take it for granted. Thanksgiving is a seasonal ritual. It allows us to celebrate the end of the harvest season by coming together around the dinner table to break bread and practice unity and gratitude. Rituals define and support our life and seasonal transitions. Michael Meade talks about how “rituals help us release the burdens of our lives while connecting our minds to our hearts in ways that reduce fear and anxiety and ease the grief of isolation.” In preparation for the celebration of Thanksgiving, we clean our homes, plan the menu, shop, cook…
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Finding Refuge – Creating Sanctuary
We are in mid-October, and fall, once again, is bathing New England in golden and red hues. The march towards the cold time of the year has begun. As always, this season is rich in metaphors for endings and new beginnings, letting go, and preparing for the changes coming our way. Many of us talk and write about it, but this year, it is the animals’ behavior that caught my attention. They are obviously preparing for the cold months ahead. They are working tirelessly to fortify their nests and gather their provisions. They are being proactive because they know what’s coming. That’s when I began to reflect on the idea and meaning of finding refuge and creating sanctuary. ref·uge/ˈrefyo͞oj/nounnoun: refuge a condition of being safe or sheltered from pursuit, danger, or trouble.1. : shelter or protection from danger or distress.2. : a place that provides shelter or protection. I am not surprised that finding refuge is what has occupied my thoughts lately. How I feel has a lot to do with what is happening in the world right now. War, suffering, earthquakes, fire, and floods; you get the picture. To say…
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Two Benches in Newport, RI
Recently, one of my daughters and I spent a weekend together in Newport, RI. It’s not often that I get to go away alone with the girls. The four of us usually spend time together as a family. Ana and I had a great time together. We walked and hiked, shared meals, stories, and laughter, and caught up with one another. On Saturday afternoon, after a two-hour walk on the Cliffwalk, while driving back to our hotel, I noticed two bright yellow benches sitting in two different corners of a large garden surrounding a beautiful old home. The road in front of the house was busy. There was a lot of traffic but the garden was shady and welcoming. I couldn’t help but wonder … does anyone take the time to sit on these benches and rest, reflect, or maybe chat with a friend? I sure hope so. There was a palpable difference between the heightened activity of where I was standing and that far corner of the garden across. There was silence and peace in that garden, and those benches beckoned. “Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim…
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When the Unexpected Happens
It has been almost two months since my last post, and today I am asking myself … How did that happen? April arrived, and I went with it, full speed ahead as usual, prepping the garden, watching it come alive, and enjoying the rituals of the new season. I started working on a new program I wanted to launch, and everything was moving along nicely. Then, something happened that stopped me in my tracks. Beginning of April, our 17-year-old cat’s health took a turn for the worse. After a visit to the vet, we had to accept the inevitable, and on April 24, we said goodbye to our sweet girl. The four of us spent the weekend with her, loving her. It was a long and painful goodbye. Sunday evening, she went downstairs and sat in front of the window, focused on her last sunset. I sat next to her quietly. Late afternoon Monday, we held her as she took her last breath, her beautiful green eyes fixed on us. We sent her off with hugs and tears, her favorite toy and treats, flowers, and love notes from the girls. We…
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The Lessons and Possibilities of Early Spring
Spring in New England can test a gardener. She begins her slow unfolding on March 20 and proceeds at a slow pace. Spring will not rush, no matter how much we’d like her to. Be patient, she whispers. It will all happen in due time. Patience has never been my thing, but I have learned to accept the futility of picking a fight with nature. April tends to be the month of slow marching through warmer days, cool nights, frosty mornings, and unpredictable weather. The daffodils, slightly confused by this year’s erratic temperatures, have been attempting to bloom for a while now. The landscape is still bare, but there are swelling leaf buds on the cherry tree, the quince, and the maples. Early spring is the time to be patient and do the prep work. First comes clearing, then comes planting and blooming. Last week we had some warm, sunny days. I started walking around the garden and taking inventory of what will need to be done. Now is the time to prune, remove dead stems, leaves, and debris, and put a new layer of compost in the garden. A couple…
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Walking
Over the weekend, I went for a hike along the river, only this time, I went to an area I had not been to for a while. The photos in this post are from my hike. The river was flowing strong under bright blue skies, and the birds were having a moment. It was a beautiful day that felt like spring. A couple of years ago, during a bad storm, the river flooded and changed its course in some places. Many trees were uprooted. Walking along the river, I could see the damage done to its banks. Same river, different landscape, new paths to take. The path ran along the riverbank. Occasionally, it would turn towards the woods or meander through the brush, and I had to make my way around fallen trees and broken tree branches. I couldn’t always see too far ahead. I came to what seemed to be the end of the path a handful of times, only to look up further and see the faint shape of a new one opening up in front of me. Every time I would think, “This is it, maybe I should…
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Searching for Silence
Often people tend to assume that, since I grew up in Greece, summer must be my favorite season. It is true that warmer weather is easier on my body and feels more natural. Yet, summer is not my favorite season. I find extreme heat and humidity unbearable. The New England winters are no picnic either. I don’t enjoy being cold, and bundling up, in layers upon layers of heavy clothing, is something I had to get used to. Spring and Fall are my favorite seasons. In the Spring, I love watching everything come alive. The gardener in me is filled with anticipation and excitement. As for Fall … who can resist the colorful show the trees put on in New England? There is something though about the change of seasons that I find soothing. Through the years, I have become well aware of how my inner rhythm is in tune with seasonal changes. Winter draws me inwards, and its stillness nourishes the introvert in me. Days are short, nights are long, social activities slow down, and I am called to my silent “den.” During this period of quietude, I can rest,…
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Keeping It Simple
We are in the middle of December and just a few days away from the Winter Solstice. It is the holiday season when we traditionally gather with loved ones to celebrate love, light, and friendship. It is also a time of mixed emotions for many of us. Maybe memories of loss and grief are surfacing, or the dark and cold days make us want to snuggle under a blanket, with a hot cup of tea, instead of running around trying to make everything happen. You may be an introvert who prefers quality time with a handful of loved ones instead of heading to a large and loud holiday gathering. Or, you may enjoy the large and loud holiday gathering, but distance and health issues prevent you from being there this year. Whether you are struggling or reveling or finding yourself somewhere in between, be honest, kind, and accepting of who you are. As Mary Oliver writes in her poem Leaves and Blossoms Along the Way, If you are John Muir you want trees tolive among. If you’re Emily, a gardenwill do.Try to find the right place for yourself.If you can’t find…
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How to Navigate This Season of Change and Possibilities
There is a vast difference between willingness and willfulness. Most often willfulness is based on fear. We try to make the world the way we want it by forcing solutions. Compensating for the uncertainty inside us, we become motivated by power instead of participation. Then we find struggles instead of solutions because force is often met with resistance. We stay emotionally hungry yet cannot be fed. We ask for more and more and receive less. Willingness, on the other hand, allows life to show us the way. Gunilla Norris from Becoming Bread It is late October, and the glorious rituals of Fall are in full display. Living in New England means we cannot escape these reminders of change, even if we try. Whether I look out my window, go for a walk or a hike, or open my Instagram, the visuals and messages of the change of season are undeniable. People are sharing their insights and sentiments along with photos of their favorite Fall landscapes. There are cooler temperatures, fiery trees, incredible sunsets, and yards and pathways covered in red and golden leaves. Fall comes slowly, gradually, and with flair. It combines…
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The Power of the Questions We Ask Ourselves
Is it necessary is a question that has been with me for a while. I have been asking this question of myself and my clients. It was the theme of this month’s gathering, and it is this post’s focus. We are approaching the Fall equinox and the season that ushers and celebrates change in a most spectacular way. I believe this question can be extremely useful as we try to figure out our next steps. What prompted the question? It all began as I was scrolling down my Twitter feed. I came across comments that people were making on a specific thread. The comments covered a range but what struck me was the lack of kindness and empathy that many people exhibited strongly. I stopped reading and exited the thread but not before I felt the impact of their words. They entered my body and changed my emotional state. People feel compelled to share without filter or consideration, and the effect this has on our collective is evident. Words have power, and we have to ask ourselves before we speak. Is it necessary? Is it beneficial? Who will be reading this? In…
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Saying No: An Act of Self-Care and Self-Respect
Imagine a river. Its source can be found at the top of a mountain. It travels toward the sea; its water supply being renewed by rain and melted snow. The river winds through villages and towns, and along the way, it becomes strong and plentiful. The people who live along the river banks use the water to grow their crops and sustain themselves. They are grateful, but soon they begin to take the river and its abundance for granted. They have come to believe that the river will be there forever, filled with cool, clean water for them to use and support their lives. Then, slowly, things begin to change. There is a long period of drought, and the river is not renewed. The villagers continue to draw water as usual. Their needs are met, for now. This goes on for some time until the river becomes a stream, a trickle, and eventually, it dries out. Now what? What if I were to tell you that you’re the river? And, if you are the river, is it possible to manage the water level? The river, by its nature, depends on weather conditions,…
