managing stress,  mindfulness,  personal rhythm,  resilience,  self-care,  Self-Compassion,  uncertainty,  wellness

On Strength, Health, and Sanity

The day after Paying Attention was published, I received a thoughtful email from a friend and faithful reader of my posts. She usually writes back to let me know what the post meant to her, ask me questions, and at times challenge me to go deeper. These email conversations have become our little ritual and I love it.

After I posted Paying Attention, I sat with what I had written. I felt that the post was incomplete. There was more to be said about how each of us is handling the tremendous stress and pressure we’re experiencing. There’s nothing simple or straightforward about our current, collective experience.

When I received my friend’s reply to the post, something she said gave me pause. I asked her permission to share one of her comments and decided to jump-start a conversation based on her experience.

This is what she said …

I have found lately that I have wanted to be less introspective. I think I am less willing to look inward now even though the time is there. Probably because everything surrounding us is hard enough to figure out. The antics of a maniac president, an out of control population, and confused experts and leaders make me want to just take comfort in routines and not think too hard because there doesn’t seem to be even a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel.

Reading her comment, one could think … “This is not a time to take a break, give up, or hide our heads in the sand. We need to keep going. We need to fight and save what needs saving. There’s no time for complacency.”

And, although I understand the urgency of showing up every minute of every day and taking meaningful action, there was something else I sensed in her statement and that was … exhaustion and burnout.

Why wouldn’t she or you or anyone else feel exhausted these days?

My friend has always been a strong, hard working person who is socially conscious and tries to do right by other people. It makes absolute sense that, given the unexpected levels of social trauma we’re dealing with and the daily onslaught of bad news, she feels the need to take a break and seek comfort in her daily routine and rituals.

The waves of change that are crushing on the shores of our psyche won’t be slowing down any time soon. We’re in it for the long run and in order to make it to the other side, we need our strength, health, and sanity. We need to persevere and be resilient.

Resilience, Perseverance, Health, Strength, Sanity … these are some big words.

In order to navigate our current reality and negotiate the profound changes that are taking place, we need the wisdom and clarity inner work brings. We need to access our compassion, stay present with difficult emotions – ours as well as the emotions of others – and show up when we’re needed, with a hopeful attitude no less.

How can we possibly accomplish this when we’re exhausted and burnt out? Taking care of ourselves needs to be a priority and part of our daily routine.

Remember the instructions you receive right before a plane takes off?

In case of an emergency, please put your oxygen mask on first, and then help the person next to you.”

Begin by checking in with yourself.

  • Do you feel tired? Exhausted? Lethargic? Foggy?
  • Is your energy level low?
  • Are you getting enough sleep? Do you feel rested when you wake up?
  • Are you doing any emotional eating?
  • Do you catch yourself being cranky and short-tempered?
  • Have you been getting increasingly anxious and worried?
  • Do you, at times, feel a “dark blanket” coming over you?

If you answered yes to any of the above, it’s time to do something about it. There’s no shame or guilt in wanting to take a break and recharge. We can all be a lot more effective and helpful when we’re feeling healthy and strong.

What comes to mind when you think about self-care?

Taking good care of ourselves encompasses everything we do that promotes good health, a sense of overall well-being, and inner peace.

  • Begin with the basics. Make sure you get plenty of rest and eat nutritious foods.
  • Don’t underestimate the value of habits, rituals, and activities that make you feel whole and refreshed. For me, gardening, cooking, knitting, writing, and photography, help me relax, focus, and ground myself.
  • Find ways to spend time in Nature, the best and most trusted healer.
  • Take a break from social media, your phone, and TV. We’re caught in a never-ending cycle of bad news that’s affecting our mental health and invariably, our energy levels. I’m not advocating disengagement. I’m suggesting that you make time in the course of a day to recharge.
  • Attend to your spiritual needs in the way that feels right to you.
  • Keep your tribe close. We may not be able to touch and hug each other but we can find ways to stay connected and support one another. Go ahead, pick up that phone, call your person, vent, laugh, listen, talk, and prop each other up.
  • Pay attention! Make it a habit, as you go through your day, to pause and look at what’s right in front of you. Take it all in. There’s beauty and little miracles happening all around us. Breathe in, breathe out!

I’d like to close by sharing this poem I came across yesterday. I hope it gives you the moment of pause and recognition it gave me.

You don’t want to hear the story
of my life, and anyway
I don’t want to tell it, I want to listen
to the enormous waterfalls of the sun.
And anyway it’s the same old story –
a few people just trying,
one way or another,
to survive.

Mostly, I want to be kind.
And nobody, of course, is kind,
or mean,
for a simple reason.

And nobody gets out of it, having to
swim through the fires to stay in
this world.

Mary Oliver

Let us all take good care of ourselves and be there for one another.

I invite you to comment and share what helps you stay healthy and sane. Let’s learn and inspire one another.

Yota works with women who are in the midst of personal and professional changes and milestones. Her approach is deeply influenced by her cultural roots, work and life experience, and her long-term practice of mindfulness meditation. In addition to her work with individual clients, Yota speaks and writes on mindful living, overcoming self-doubt, and the art of letting go.

4 Comments

  • Diana Salsberg

    Sunday morning, quiet and overcast. I welcome no sun. I feel we all need some steady cleansing rain to refresh and restore.
    My garden will rise up in joy if the slow steady rains would grace us. I too would be glad for it.
    Reading Yota’s words had just the right effect today.
    The many blessings I know I have in my life come to the fore in quiet.
    The pond is still, but there will be ripples and movement and churning soon. And stillness will return.

    • Yota Schneider

      Dear Diana,

      Your words and description of your garden and pond transported me. The metaphors are strong and meaningful. We, too, are like plants in a garden that is ever evolving. Storms come and go but the garden survives and eventually blooms again.

      Thank you for being here. Enjoy the rain and your garden.

      Love, always.

  • Tara McPadden

    Hello Yota,

    I am just now catching up with your lovely, informative articles. I have found that it is easy to slip into too much unhealthy news watching and seriousness! I caught myself yet again and started to slow down. Also back on track with quiet moments alone in nature.

    I’m trying to extend more kindness to others who are having their own specific challenges during this time. A friend, who lost his beloved partner in late April, is hurting and feeling isolated. Just sending him encouraging messages and, when able, having occasional safe visits have lifted his spirits and mine! A former co -worker who is working on the front lines in health care and I enjoy weekly supportive and fun messages late into the evening. Sending cards out to those who have recently lost loved ones and keeping in touch with more isolated friends.

    Doing this takes me away from my own troubles. And I truly love to lift others up! Although some times I delve too deeply into the sadness of it all.

    Only recently I found a wonderful, renewed connection with my Mom who has some serious health issues but still is being so Zen and having her happy experiences, when feeling well. I am realizing our parents can still nourish and teach us lessons even at a stubborn 81 yrs!

    I am seeing her in a whole new light! The lock down and other circumstances have brought a renewed bond between us that I don’t think would have ever happened in the pre-pandemic world.

    We now have a stronger relationship and treat each other with much more respect and compassion and for this I am extremely grateful! I can’t fill the deep void of her missing my Father ( last year) but she now has a new friend! Her daughter! And I do too!

    Thank you for your wise words and ongoing guidance as well as always being open to the fact that there is no right or wrong here. We all just have to keep returning ( as needed) to the path of loving ourselves and others… ❤🌿❤

    • Yota Schneider

      Dear Tara

      Thank you for being here and sharing with us. Your friends are lucky to have you in their lives. You’re right …. in extending ourselves to others we also help ourselves feel better.

      I am so happy to hear about your relationship with your mom. I know it’s been a long journey but look at you two. It’s never too late.

      Thinking of you and sending you love and big hugs. Keep on going, keep on breathing and being in the moment. <3

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